Girls just wanna have fun, or do they?

Recently, one of my students at the Goddess Center informed me that she was not going to be able to make this series of cheerleading classes. She was trying to be "responsible” and just had too many things on her plate. Granted, shaking your pom-poms and refining your “liberty” arms is not usually a high priority for a 30-year-old successful businesswoman. But I knew how much she loved class and wearing the short cheer skirts. She often said it was the most fun thing she did each week.

This got me thinking of how little women value having fun. It’s even lower on our list than pampering ourselves. We all know how difficult it is for us as women to take care of ourselves - people pleasing everyone except ourselves. We don’t even seem to think of ourselves as people. We have been conditioned to think this way and the fact that we receive some sort of validation that we are “good” and that we are loved because we take care of others makes it an annoyingly difficult pattern to break.

Having fun, without agenda (furthering your career, burning calories, being more organized, having a cleaner house) is one of the great reasons to live. It is living.

Now, I am not advising you to become totally irresponsible and play hookey everyday. But there must be things you just enjoy doing (and if you can’t think of any, I suggest that you forget laundry this week and start discovering what brings you joy). These fun things put everything in perspective, make us excited in anticipation before they happen and giggle long after they are over.

Personally, having fun tops my priority list. It is also how I measure things: I believe the best bellydancer in class in the one who can laugh at herself and the best surfer is the one splashing around and having a great time. I try to have as much fun as I can everyday, especially when life becomes truly challenging. Feel free to email me and share your ideas and experiences of having fun with me. I would love to hear about what fun things you like to do!

So, enroll in that class you always say you wanted to take, go to that softball game, allow yourself to be the last person to leave a party and do something that makes you laugh!

10 Calorie-Free and $$-Free ways to Indulge

1) Take a Bath (using your new bath rituals)
2) Wear your special occasion underwear on Monday beneath your work clothes.
3) Have your make-up done at a department store
4) Pick-up brochures about exotic places at a Travel Agency (with no travel plans)
5) Write a delicious fantasy in your diary, only for your eyes.
6) Take a test-drive in your dream car
7) Nap under a big quilt
8) Dress up and try on expensive jewelry at Tiffany’s
9) Watch the Sunset
10) Make a list of what you would do with $$ if you won the lottery

10 Extravagant Indulgences

1) Make yourself a hot-fudge sundae with all the trimmings to eat in bed.
2) Invest in sumptuous 400-thread-count sheets
3) Throw a party for no occasion
4) Buy a small bouquet of flowers for your nightstand
5) Travel
6) Take a class, just for fun: Aromatherapy, Scuba-diving, painting
7) Buy yourself silk pajamas
8) Donate to charity anonymously
9) Buy yourself Diamonds
10) Order Room Service

Famous Diamonds

The Hope – More notorious than any other diamond, this 45.52-carat dark blue stone has a history heavily veiled by superstition. The diamond is supposed to have been the “Eye of Shiva” and to have been stolen, which is the reason for bad luck. Several of its owners died tragically, such as Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette, and Countess Du Barry were all beheaded, Habib Bey drowned along with his whole family and other owners, along with their descendants were beset with tragedy until they sold the diamond. Stolen during the French Revolution, it turned up in London in 1830 and was bought by Henry Philip Hope after whom it is currently named. Harry Winston donated it to the Smithsonian Institution.

The Taylor-Burton – This pear shaped 69.42-carat diamond was sold at auction in 1969 with the understanding that the buyer could name it. Cartier of New York successfully bid for it and immediately christened it Cartier. However, the next day Richard Burton bought the stone for Elizabeth Taylor for an undisclosed sum, renaming it the Taylor-Burton. It made its debut at a charity ball in Monaco hosted by Princess Grace. In 1978, Elizabeth Taylor announced that she was putting it up for sale and planned to use the proceeds to build a hospital in Botswanna. In 1979, it was sold for nearly 3 million and was last reported to be in Saudi Arabia.

The Regent – A truly historic diamond discovered in 1701 by an Indian slave, it weighed 410 carats in the rough. At one time, it was called “The Pitt” after it’s owner, William Pitt, an English Prime Minister, who had the diamond cut into 140.50 carats. It was then sold to France and renamed The Regent and set into the crown Louis XV wore at his coronation. After the French Revolution, it was owned by Napoleon Bonaparte who set it in the hilt of his sword. It is now on the display in the Louvre.

The Great Star of Africa - The Great Star of Africa was the largest diamond ever found, weighing a staggering 3106 carats in the rough! It is now the largest cut diamond at 530.20 carats. This diamond adorns the scepter of King Edward VII and is kept in the tower of London and is among the British Crown Jewels.

The Tiffany – The Tiffany diamond is one of the largest Fancy Yellow diamonds in the world. The rough diamond weighed 287.42 carats before it was cut and shaped into a “brilliant-shaped” diamond with an unprecedented 90 facets. This is 32 more facets than the traditional 58 facets, which serves to make The Tiffany appear to smolder from a flame within. This 128.51-carat diamond briefly graced the neck of Audrey Hepburn for a round of publicity photographs taken for the film, Breakfast at Tiffany’s in 1961.

Bed, Baths and Beyond

I was about 6 years old when I first went to a hammam. These are public bathhouses in Morocco, in which I briefly lived with my family. In Marrakech, bathing at a hammam is a social ritual to which we do not have an exact comparison in America. It most resembles a spa, but not as luxurious as its western counterparts nor as private. Women in Morocco frequent the hammam about once a week and are not as modest as American women at spas.

The hammam’s main room is tiled and steamy. You can hire a professional bather, but many women scrub, massage and cleanse each other. An amber colored goo is applied generously to the body, followed by a rigorous exfoliation with loofah mitts. Everyone has her own bucket of hot or cold water to douse herself with. Most women and girls are naked, except for panties. It is quite an intimate activity to share devoid of awkwardness. The women are more accepting of and open about their bodies than many American women.

The hammams were my first experience at pampering and it left a lasting impression. As a little girl, I mostly remembered the amber goo and how soft my skin felt afterwards. I would often think about the clean feeling I had immediately following a visit to the Moroccan bath. I was dirty most of the time in Morocco from the dust, wind and communal living. Even through the mind of a child, I knew a visit to the Moroccan spa felt more than just about getting clean; it felt like a fresh start.

As an adult, I decided to further my education in the arduous and highly competitive field of becoming a spa aficionado. I have delved enthusiastically into this area of study, dedicating many hours of research to visiting day spas, traveling to destination spas and reading many complex spa treatment menus. I have submitted myself to be the subject of dozens of grueling experimental spa treatments. I have been wrapped in chocolate in Mexico, had a gin martini facial in Paris, a rose-petal massage in Ojai, three-masseuse massage in Thailand and Lomi Lomi in Hawaii. With just a few credits shy of getting my degree, I have discovered my thesis: Pampering is about feeling taken care of.

The stresses of life can be exhausting and we are all guilty at times of biting off more than we can chew, doing too much and subsequently running on empty. In this drained state, we have little to give and often take for granted the blessings in our lives. The act of being pampered is rejuvenating. It is like refueling. Going to the spa is taking care of yourself and allowing someone to pamper you. Spas are sacred temples to renew a sore body, weary soul, a broken heart and a tired mind.

Pampering does not need to be luxurious to be effective. A natural mineral spring bath can be just as valuable as an expensive treatment in Beverly Hills. Even a short pampering session like a pedicure can go a long way to remove the grime of life that prevents you from seeing the beauty that surrounds you.

So memorize the list below and add your own pampering discoveries. Remember, as a goddess, we must always be working on a Phd in Pampering!

Some wonderful ways to Pamper Yourself

1) Baths – get rose petals from your local florist or garden and scatter in your bath.
2) Use a beautiful wine glass for your water
3) Coat your feet with peppermint lotion and put on thick cotton socks.
4) Paint your nails red
5) Face – lay down after work with chamomile tea bags on your eyes and your favorite CD playing.
6) Go for a professional blow-out before a night out
7) Body Wrap – detox your system
8) Body Scrub- exfoliation is crucial to glowing skin. Make a homemade body scrub with sugar and jojoba oil.
9) Have a complimentary makeover at a cosmetic counter
10) Get a Massage – see list!

Types of Massage

Massage has been practiced throughout most cultures for thousands of years for one simple reason: touch is a powerful healer. Today more than ever, the stresses and strains of our fast-paced lives take their toll on our bodies, relationships, and enjoyment of life. Studies show that touch measurably improves health and well being. According to research done by the Touch Research Institute, based at the University of Miami, touch can reduce stress hormones, combat depressive symptoms, alleviate pain, and boost the immune system.


Styles of Massage:
A massage menu is as delicious to a Goddess as a dessert menu. So how do you choose which style of massage is right for you? You simply must sample each one, memorize the definitions, find your favorites and realize different massages can be more appropriate on different days for different needs and benefits.

Swedish – This European method reduces tension, increases circulation and soothes sore muscles using a combination of various movements including kneading, petrissage and effleurage.

Shiatsu – This ancient Japanese technique of applied finger pressure to your body’s meridian channels, allows your chi to flow naturally, inducing a state of deep relaxation and well-being.

Watsu – Watsu consists of shiatsu stretches in a pool of body-temperature water. You feel weightless as a therapist cradles you and stretches your limbs and is ideal for people who can’t have other types of massage (such as pregnant women and those with disabilities).

Aromatherapy - The powerful aromatic effects of pure essential oils are applied to the skin with Swedish massage techniques to revitalize and detoxify your body.

Sports - Aimed at performance, this massage technique uses compression; deep transverse friction and stretching to prepare the body for intensive exercise or for recovery after athletics.

Deep-Tissue – A therapeutic treatment that works deep tissue to relieve muscular spasms and prevent soreness resulting from many things like stress, over-exertion, or athletic activities.

Reflexology – The hands and feet have points that correspond to the organs and functions of the body. This massage involves stimulating these points to provide a positively calming and healing experience.

Reiki – Reiki is a Japanese word that means universal life-force energy. This ancient healing art uses gentle and non-invasive energy to encourage personal awareness and well-being.

Cranio-Sacral – Through light touch, this practice alters imbalances in the central nervous system between the cranium and the sacrum, resetting the body’s natural healing potential.

Hot Stone Therapy – Smooth, polished Basalt Lava Stones are heated and incorporated into a massage that loosens tight muscles and relieves tension.

Thai - Thai massage combines pressure-point massage and yoga in slow, rhythmic stretches along the body’s ten sen, or energy lines. As you lie on a floor mat, the therapist uses her palms, thumbs, elbow and feet to apply pressure to your body and move it through yoga poses to balance energy and increase flexibility.

Lomi-Lomi – Passed down through Hawaiian elders or Kapuna, this therapeutic technique uses both gentle and vigorous kneading strokes and body manipulations to ease muscle pain thus renewing a sense of well-being.

Shirodhara – In this Eastern-Indian treatment, warm oil flows onto the forehead and is gently massaged into the scalp while hot stones are place in your hands and at your feet to calm the mind and body.

Tui Na – This ancient Chinese healing art is based on energy flow, meridian and pressure points. The focus is less on immediate relaxation and more on restoring the body’s health and energy through intense stretching and muscle manipulation.

MLD – Manual Lymphatic Drainage is the most widely researched and proven massage in the world. Rhythmical, whispery soft finger strokes or ultra-light drumming stimulate the flow of lymph with the benefits ranging from a decrease in facial puffiness and a boost in immune function to smoothing of cellulite and relief from headaches.